Dear Zdaddy Museveni: A Love Letter That’s More Than Just Flirting with Corruption.
By Culton Scovia Nakamya
Annah Ashaba commonly known as Ashanah has yet again penned a love letter to President Kaguta Museveni, urging him to confront rampant corruption in the country.
The writer, who affectionately refers to the President as “Zdaddy,” implores him to hold corrupt officials accountable rather than shielding them because of their investments in the country.
Ashanah first wrote a love letter/poem in 2021 during the height of the COVID-19 lockdown, which had severely impacted many lives.
However, the poem took an unexpected turn when she was picked up by the Internal Security Organization (ISO) for questioning and warned about disrespecting the First Lady.
Former Deputy Director of Internal Security Organization (ISO) Lt. Col. Emmy Katabazi instructed her to refrain from writing in such a satirical manner or face consequences.
The two-to-three-hour interrogation left her with mixed feelings. “I was terrified, but I appreciate that they didn’t torture me like they’ve done to others. They asked if I would consider working for them, promising a hefty salary, but I rejected the offer and told them that as a writer, I only need my freedom to write,” recounts Ashanah.
Days later, an article published in the New Vision revealed that the writer was set to meet her “Zdaddy,” President Museveni. However, Ashanah published a piece in the Observer newspaper retracting what was stated in New Vision, clarifying that she had never committed to meeting him and instead wanted to see the issues she raised addressed.
Ashanah is a graduate with a Bachelor’s in Education, majoring in Literature from Makerere University, and she uses a combination of humor and serious critique to communicate.
She is a renowned activist and freedom fighter, remembered for her role in the 2019 Fees Must Fall demonstrations at Makerere University.
The repercussions of her poem compromised her safety, forcing her into exile.
Ashana was triggered by the rampant corruption especially in parliament, prompting another love letter to her Zdaddy.
“I can’t let them silence me. I will only go silent when I die,” she stated.
In the second part of her love letter, published on her X handle, she challenges the President to rein in corrupt officials, especially in Parliament.
Ashanah criticizes the President for rewarding corrupt officials with more government positions.
“Everyone is talking about our former dark chocolate, now ‘bulawuni’ skinned babe in Parliament, who is going on trips with her husband and claiming per diems for thirty-three days in a thirty-days month,” says the poem.
Currently, several government officials face corruption charges before courts of law. They include Members of Parliament on the budget committee, Yusuf Mutembuli, Paul Akamba, and Cissy Namujju.
Prosecution alleges that the MPs solicited a 20% bribe from the Uganda Human Rights Commission’s budget for the financial year 2024/25. The case is set to be heard in the High Court starting 2nd August 2024. The Permanent Secretary of the Ministry of Trade, Geraldine Ssali, is facing similar charges before the anti-corruption court.
The speaker of Parliament Anita Annet Among is grappling with sanctions from the UK and US over corruption.
Besides the love letter to Zdaddy, Ashanah is one of the activists using online tools to mobilize otheryouth for a protest march to Parliament on 23rd July 2024 against ongoing corruption, which has eroded public trust in the government.
However, in his latest address, President Museveni warned the youth not to dare demonstrate.
We have reproduced Ashana’s love poem to her Zdaddy, President Yoweri Museveni.
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From a Side Chic to her Zdaddy: Museveni’s Side Chic (Part two)
As the official and only side chic of Your Excellency Zdaddy, what do you make of the suggestions that I am about to give you?
Will you still send me your boring men to scare me with threats and offers like the last time?
That wasn’t sexy, you know!!! Or will you come in person so that we consummate this ship to allow for the peaceful transition of power? I stayed pure for this purpose.
My virginity will be the sacrifice to that cause. And I kept it for you and you alone, Sabalwanyi. Retirement package yo ekulinze Zdaddy.
Zdaddy, I am tired of the noise from that ka app that Musk rebranded from Twitter to X
Why are some people making noise for us about our patriotic looters in Parliament?
Wama, instead of dealing with the looting honourables, let’s just shut down the ka app.
Our enemies both at home and abroad shouldn’t see the small mess being exposed.
And since when did the boys from whom you make over twenty thousand dollars per head when they are deployed in foreign peacekeeping missions start complaining to our son’s enemy, Rukirabachwezi, about their misery in Somalia?
How will I get a wig installed and nails done if they flag the suffering they are going through at the hands of your greedy commanders?
We still need to have at least fourteen million dollars cash every month, kept by my in-law in Kapeeka. He’s the unofficial governor of the Bank of Uganda. He is our ATM.
Musicians, politicians, and student leaders sell their just causes for a few cents from him.
Everyone is talking about our former dark chocolate, now bulawuni skinned babe in Parliament.
That she’s going on trips with her husband and claiming per diems for thirty-three days in a thirty-day month,
That her workers, both at her radio station and her school, are on Parliament payroll
That she transfers bu small monies to people’s accounts
That her corporate social responsibility budget is unnecessary
That this and that That this and that
Hmmmmm!!! Can you imagine?
Zdaddy, please dedicate Phyno’s, “Do 1?” to those naysayers who are running exhibitions about these small figures exchanging hands in Parliament Ask them like the chorus of Phyno’s song goes, Do I look like I give a FUCK?
Should we remind them that we have never honoured the ICJ court ruling to pay eleven billion dollars in reparations for looting our neighbour in the West, DRC?
How about the Temangalo-gate scandal that involved over eleven billion shillings?
Didn’t the right honourable involved in that scandal get moved from being a Minister of Security to a Prime Minister?
We reward our thieves because in your own words Zdaddy, they invest their loot in the country Isn’t that steady progress?
Or should we remind them that the current Minister of Security was once sacked by you for embezzling a few million dollars when he was heading the Ministry of Health?
How about our unofficial governor of Bank of Uganda seated in Kapeeka who bought junk helicopters in the mid 1990s at the height of the LA insurgency?
Wasn’t that when you officially stamped corruption into our national code of conduct?
If our lovely baby sister to one of your decorated Generals could raise ten billion shillings from selling three goats to be able to purchase UBC land, why should we worry about small millions being given to our (dis)honourables?
How about our decorated scientist and her rats worth eight million each?
Mbwenu riyale, should we also remind them that the speaker and other ministers at large stole iron sheets meant for Karamoja?
And the list goes on and on
I could generate volumes and volumes of books about the levels of corruption in Uganda
But why should I when you choose to overlook these small matters?
Just shut down the ka app, man!!
Those digital activists are making unnecessary noise, Let’s get back to the mulamwa of power transition.
Your retirement package, me, is waiting for you.
Zdaddy, I told you that there are some things that I can’t put here in writing
I will reserve them for the two of us, I swear with my left nipple.
Signed,
Your one and only side baby
Ashanah.
Incase you Missed Part One. Here it is:
I want to be Museveni’s side chic
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that during those cozy moments, I tell him that the thought of schools still closed turns me off. I want to let him touch touch me slow and then when he’s charged for action, I tell him that the education crisis dried my feelings. I can’t even fake anything. I want to promise to do him all he wants as long as schools are reopened.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that when we go for a weekend get away to graze cows, I sweet talk him into having all the political prisoners released. I want to remind him that those young men who were unjustly arrested have families to whom they are so dear just like the way his cows are dear to him.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that when he buys me an unlimited data bundle, I thank him and then request him to have the 12% tax on data removed. The world is advancing in science and technology, we need to advance with it zdaddy.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic. I want to kiss his ears, gently squeeze his nipples and whisper to him that that boy on Twitter keeps embarrassing the family every time he gets into keyboard exchanges. Zdaddy, may be you should reconsider opening bars too.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that when after reading a poem for him, I tell him that censorship, arrest, torture and imprisonment of writers is inhumane, cowardly an act and violation of rights. Ekaraamu tejunda muzeyi.
You may imprison the people but you can’t imprison the spirit of writing. I want to tell him to take the writings as a challenge to make improvements for the betterment of the nation.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that I shower him with praises as the sexiest zaddy when he agrees to have a peaceful transition of power. We need to go somewhere in the mountains and spend quality time as someone else able takes over the presidency. There are many men and women with a vision, you ain’t the only one with a vision sweetie. Give the bazukulu a chance to build the nation. Let us go plant trees, restore Bugoma forest and save those wetlands and other endangered natural resources.
I want to be Museveni’s side chic so that I tell him what I can’t put here in writing. I am unarmed, harmless, sexy, energetic, charismatic, patriotic and ready to read for him in retirement. Whoever can reach him, give him this proposal of a side chic in waiting.
Yours in struggle
Ashanah.
END
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